Reviews are pouring in that College of Michigan soccer gamers are nearly solely having unprotected intercourse ever since head coach Jim Harbaugh introduced that he would gladly elevate any of their undesirable infants.
Based on some gamers, Harbaugh was completely furious when he discovered of his staff’s actions and that 9 ladies had already been impregnated.
“No! No! No! I don’t care if it ‘feels higher!’ This isn’t what I meant!” Harbaugh reportedly screamed at his gamers throughout a staff assembly at this time. “You realize. Possibly the starters don’t must put on condoms. That approach I can elevate some stellar soccer gamers. However everybody else must wrap it up. No extra barebacking it for the second and third string!”
As of press time, Harbaugh had modified his thoughts and was now demanding that each one gamers apply “complete and full abstinence” after practically half of his starters got here down with sexually transmitted illnesses.
“We’ve already been given the go-ahead to begin funneling cash from among the ladies’s sports activities packages right here on the College of Michigan,” Harbaugh confirmed. “That approach we will get more money for me to boost these children and in addition present my males with some Porn Hub subscriptions to carry them over in the course of the season.”
Photograph credit score Maize & Blue Nation